Mummy has found some very beautiful poems, lyrics, quotes, scriptures, and stories online - These words very much describe the turmoil and emotions surrounding the loss of a baby. Many of these have been adapted for Thomas.

We will share these here in remembrance of you and of all the other 'Little ones' who pass on before their time.

(Many of the poems I found online have no signature - many are signed 'Author Unknown'. If there are any words or poems here that belong to you and you are offended by my use of them here, firstly I apologise and secondly - please let me know so that I can credit your work to you.)

GUESS WHAT MOMMY?

Guess what Mommy
Heaven is great
just like you said
There's not much longer to wait

Guess what Mommy
I have a guardian angel
who comes at night.
I told him I wanted to go but the times not right.

Guess what Mommy
my angel came this morning
while you were still in bed
He came with a warning

Guess what Mommy
when I left you in April
so you could rest some more,
I knew my time was soon;

Guess what Mommy
when you were finally out of sight
I told my angel
the time is just right,

Guess what Mommy
when you still didn't know I was gone
My angel put his hand in mine,
and I was no longer stiff or sick, I felt happy and fine.

Guess what Mommy
I saw you crying from above
and I knew how much
I was loved

Guess what Mommy
I saw the look on your face
when they told you I was gone
it looked like you'd never go on.

Guess what Mommy
I saw you holding me tight
I kissed you good-bye with my love,
and tried to tell you I was alright

Guess what Mommy
there's no more pain,
You can go on with your life
and not feel so drained

Guess what Mommy,
I'll watch you all your days through
and be like your Guardian Angel
Just because, I LOVE YOU!

~ Author Unknown ~

Birthdays do not end with death,
But last as long as love,
A maelstrom of memories
That grace and honor move.

And so we celebrate your day
By visiting your grave,
A place that you have left long since,
But is all that we have.

Dear spirit, come and join us here,
Your loved ones by your stone!
Come sweep across the barrier
To claim us as your own!

Happy birthday, dearest one!
Oh, happy, happy day!
Not even the most bitter night
Can take this joy away!

Unknown author

Such Beautiful Roses

Fine roses come from the thorns in life -
The trials, heartaches and pain,
As God develops a beauty within us,
Working all for our spiritual gain.
Oh, how we desire that the prickly thorns
Be removed out of our life,
But we'd desire it less if we knew
God's best Comes from that trouble and strife.
Paul prayed his thorn would be removed -
Three times he sought God's hand;
His plea was denied and Paul relied
On the Master's perfect plan.
Oh, how we bargain and beg the Father
To remove our painful thorn,
But we'd desire it less if we knew God's best
And could see the roses form.
As He molds and develops us in His Kingdom,
Such talents and gifts He adorns;
Yet, never has there been a beautiful rosebush
Without the piercing thorns;
Those stakes in our heart we feel unbearable,
And everything in us opposes,
Are the very tools our designer uses...
To develop Such Beautiful Roses.

Connie - March, 2001 Copyright 2001, Connie C. Bratcher

From The Pit of Despair

I'm crawling out of the pit
Leaving the pain behind
Leaving my baby,
but just for a time

I'll carry your memory
Wherever I go
I'll make sure your family
always will know

You were my son
My sweet baby boy
Even though you are gone,
I remember the joy

That positive line
You were on your way
I'll never know
why you couldn't stay

I fell so far down
There was no light
Only a deep, black,
undisturbed night

Now I see a ray
Though very small
I brush myself off
from this nasty fall

Grief is dirty and hard
As I claw my way out
I'll keep your spirit with
me as I shout

"I love you I miss you
I will see you again"
I'll be with you in Paradise
When my time here ends

Please watch over me
And know that you're here
My heart carries you
through every year

I'll live and I'll love
My sweet baby son
I'll see you again
when my time here is done

Love forever and always,
Mom

Written by
Pamela S. Kam

In Loving Memory of

' Thomas Singwai Kam '

12 - 16 - 03

EVERY SINGLE TEAR

Words & Music

by Scott Krippayne & Steve Siler


You feel insignificant
A whisper in the wind
Sometimes you think nobody
knows your name
But there's somebody watching over you
and He knows everything you're going through
He sees every single tear
He feels everything you're feeling
He wants to hold you close and dry your eyes
Your heart is what he hears
When the world just hears you crying
No matter what the pain,
He cares about every single tear
Overwhelmed by circumstances out of your control
Hope can be the hardest thing to find
When you're like a heart without a home
You don't have to face this hurt alone
CHORUS
If God adorns the Lilies of the field
and cares for every sparrow in the sky
How much more is He aware of your sorrow and despair
How much does He care about your life
CHORUS

1999 BMG Songs/Above The Rim Music/ Lehsem Music ASCAP
KEEP BREATHING

Words & Music

by Scott Krippayne & Steve Siler


Sometimes it feels like the sun will never rise
Like the birds will never sing again
The night is dark, not one star in the sky
and no one you can call a friend
In so deep It feels like you are drowning
So afraid You can hardly catch your breath

Keep breathing
Take it in and let it out
Keep Breathing
It's gonna be OK
Believe in A power greater than what you are going through
When you don't know what to do.
Keep breathing

You know the one that reaches through the hurt
A comfort for the broken heart
But in this place even prayers are painful
Life isn't 'sposed to be this hard
When relief is more than you can hope for
And the wounds seem deeper than your faith

CHORUS

Don't give up
Even though you want to
Don't give in
You've already come this far
It's alright
The Lord knows what you're needing
And he'll meet you where you are, just...

Keep breathing
Take it in and let it out
Keep Breathing
It's gonna be OK
Believe in A power greater than what you are going through
When you don't know what to do.
Keep breathing
MORE LIKE A WHISPER

Words & Music

by Scott Krippayne & Steve Siler


Sometimes the mountain moves and is thrown into the sea
Sometimes the lightening strikes and a vision comes to me

But sometimes it's more like a whisper
Quiet and gentle, peaceful and still
When questions rain down like thunder
Sometimes the answer is more like a whisper

Sometimes the waters part and the path ahead is clear
Sometimes the angels sing and it's music to my ears

But sometimes it's more like a whisper
Quiet and gentle, peaceful and still
When questions rain down like thunder
Sometimes the answer is more like a whisper

Lord help me listen whenever you speak
If the river runs wild or silent and deep
Sometimes one candle burns and a light glows in the dark
Sometimes a flower blooms and your love grows in my heart

'cause sometimes it's more like a whisper
Quiet and gentle, peaceful and still
When questions rain down like thunder
Sometimes the answer is more like a whisper

DANCING WITH ANGELS

Words & Music

by John Mandeville & Steve Siler

( Psalms 30:11a)


It's just so hard to believe
All I have to hold is your memory
From this side of the clouds
All I see is grief

But on the other side
I know you're free
and you're Dancing
Dancing with Angels
Dancing
Dancing

Somewhere just out of my reach
You're keeping heavenly company
When I'm feeling lonely
It's for myself I cry
'Cause there aren't any tears in paradise
Where you're Dancing...

I can almost hear your laughter
See the fullness of your joy
Knowing that you're present with the Lord
And though today I miss you
I know the day will come
When every believer
Will behold the son and we'll be
Dancing...

1997 Dayspring Music ( A div. Of Word Music ) / Lehsem Music
HOW COULD YOU

Words & Music

by John Mandeville & Steve Siler

( Psalm 88)


What kind of God would let this happen?
How could you be so unfair?
You're the one whose love is supposed to be enough
It feels like you don't even care

I thought that I could trust you
I thought I knew what you were like
What did I do to deserve this cruel relentless hurt
this bottomless void in my life

How could you?
How could you?
How could you ?
How could you?

Why didn't you step in and stop this?
How could you bring me so much pain?
In my deepest hour of need why did you abandon me?
With nothing but your silence to embrace

How could you?
How could you?
How could you?
How could you?

I'm the Lord your God who loves you
Your rage is safe with me
I will never leave you
I'll meet you where you'll meet me

Tell me everything you're feeling
You can't make me turn away
Let me have your anger
There's all kinds of ways to pray
Talk to me

1997 Dayspring Music ( A div. Of Word Music ) / Lehsem Music
" I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong."

Author unknown
" Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives."

Author unknown
Streets Of Heaven

Hello God, it's me again,
2 A.M. room 304
visiting hours are over
time for our bedtime tug of war

this sleeping child between us
may not make it through the night
I'm fighting back the tears
as she fights for her life

Well it must be kind of crowded
on the streets of heaven so tell me,
what do you need her for
don't you know one day she'll be

your little girl forever
but right now, I need her so
much more she's much too young
to be on her own

barely just turned seven
so who will hold her hand
when she crosses the
streets of heaven

Tell me God, do you remember
the wishes that she made
as she blew out the candles
on her last birthday cake

she wants to ride a pony
when she's big enough
she wants to marry her daddy
when she's all grown up

Well it must be kind of crowded
on the streets of heaven
so tell me, what do you need her for
don't you know one day she'll be

your little girl forever
but right now, I need her so
much more she's much too young
to be on her own

barely just turned seven
so who will hold her hand
when she crosses
the streets of heaven

Lord don't you know she's my angel
you've got plenty of your own
and I know you'll hold a place for her
but she's already got a home

well I don't know if you're listening
but praying's all that's left to do
so I ask you Lord have mercy
You lost a son once too

And it must be kind of crowded
on the streets of heaven
so tell me, what do you need her for
don't you know one day she'll be

your little girl forever
but right now, I need her so
much more
Lord I know once you've made up

Your mind there's no use in begging
so if You take her with you today
will You make sure she looks both ways
and would You hold her hand when she

crosses the streets of heaven
the streets of heaven

Sherrie Austin
To Zion

One day, you'll understand... Zion
Unsure of what the balance held
I touched my belly overwhelmed
by what I had been chosen to perform
But then an angel came one day
Told me to kneel down and pray
for unto me a man-child would be born

Woe this crazy circumstance
I knew his life deserved a chance
but everybody told me to be smart
"Look at your career," they said,
"Lauryn baby use your head."
But instead I chose to use my heart

Now the joy... of my world... is in Zion! (Zion, Zion!)
Now the joy... of my world... is in Zion! (Zion, uhh, Zion!)

How beautiful if nothing more
than to wait at Zion's door
I've never been in love like this before
Now let me pray to keep you from the perils that will surely come
See life for you my Prince has just begun
And I thank you for choosing me
to come through unto life to be
A beautiful reflection of His grace
See I know that a gift so great is only one God could create

And I'm reminded every time I see your face that the joy...
(JOY) of my world... (WORLD) is in Zion! (IS IN ZION)
I said Zion! (IS IN ZION)
Now the joy... (JOY) of my world... (WORLD) is in Zion!
(IS IN ZION, IS IN ZION)
Now the joy... Zion! (JOY) of my world... (WORLD) is in Zion! (IS IN ZION, IS IN ZION)
Now the joy... Zion! (JOY) of my world... (WORLD) is in Zion! (IS IN ZION, IS IN ZION)

Marching (marching) marching (marching) to Zion (marching)
marching (marching) -- we gon' march
Marching (marching) marching (marching) to Zion (marching),
beautiful beautiful Zion!
Marching (marching) marching (marching) to Zion (marching) marching (marching) Marching (marching) marching (marching) to Zion (marching), beautiful beautiful Zion!
Marching (marching) marching (marching) --

MY JOY, MY JOY to Zion (marching) marching (marching) --
MY JOY, MY JOY Marching (marching) marching (marching) --
MY JOY, MY JOY to Zion (marching), beautiful beautiful Zion! --
MY JOY, MY JOY Marching (marching) marching (marching) --
MY JOY, MY JOY to Zion (marching) marching (marching) --
MY JOY, MY JOY Marching (marching) marching (marching) --
NOW THE JOY to Zion (marching), beautiful beautiful Zion! --
OF MY LIFE Marching (marching) marching (marching) --
IS ZION to Zion (marching) marching (marching)
Marching (marching) marching (marching) --
NOW THE JOY to Zion (marching), beautiful beautiful Zion! --
OF MY LIFE Beautiful beautiful Zion! -- IS ZION
Beautiful beautiful Zion! -- IS ZION

Beautiful beautiful Zion!
Beautiful beautiful Zion!
Beautiful beautiful Zion!
Beautiful beautiful Zion!

Lauren Hill
You will smile again, it just may take a long time.
People will say stupid things.
Mostly because they don't know what to say but also because they do not have any experience with grief in a way that they can relate to you with.
It is our job to educate them when the timing is appropriate.
You will laugh again.
You will not die from a broken heart and you will not truly believe that until a long time from now.
Cry, cry, cry, scream some, cry some more.
Talk, cry.
All this crying is healing

Unknown
Prayer of St. Francis

Lord,
make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred... let me sow love.
Where there is injury... pardon.
Where there is discord... unity.
Where there is doubt... faith.
Where there is error...truth.
Where there is despair... hope.
Where there is sadness... joy.
Where there is darkness.. Light.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek.

To be consoled...as to console.
To be understood.. As to understand.
To be loved... as to love.

For It is in giving... that we receive.
It is in pardoning... that we are pardoned.
It is in dying... that we are born to eternal life.

Amen

So may people have asked me,
" What can I do? How can I help? "

This is what you can do for us -

Love your children.
Kiss your spouse.
Call your parents.
Hug your pets (except perhaps your fish).
Be kind to others.
Be good to yourself.
Have faith
Hold onto hope
Do not take the smaller things in life forgranted.

Someone offended me today
and I just won't say who
It's someone very close to me,
and it made me feel so blue

They implied I should be
"over" my baby being gone
But how can they possibly know
how it feels to be his Mum

They haven't walked
a moment in my path
Felt the pain I feel everyday
and felt so very sad

I wish for just five seconds,
and no more
That they could feel my heart break
when my tears pour

I assume they think
I'm carrying on
And grieving
far too long

I'd never want them
to experience this ache
Of seeing babies everywhere
and my heart just break

Watching television and
a baby advert shows
Its times like these
tears start to flow

I don't think they understand
that I will never be the same
I'm not placing them at fault
or casting them with blame

I'm happy because they have been
blessed and never had to feel
Their life crash around them
and their world stand still

But I have, and I feel it everyday
I plead with my beliefs, I cry,
I scream, and pray
Give me time,

but I don't know
how much it will take
Just be there to listen
for my sake

If you don't know what to say,
then don't say anything at all
Just be there for me when
I need a soft place to fall

I planned my baby's' life
for years to come
Now I have to deal with the thought
that he won't even get just one

For months I held him under my heart,
he was my baby boy
I wanted to experience and share
my happiness and joy

But I won't, he's gone
and forever will be
Please don't ask me to "get over it"
just be thankful and feel blessed that you aren't me.

Author Unknown

We'll Burn The Sky - The Scorpions

I'm in love with the sunshine
I'm in love with the fallin' rain
Everything seems to call your name
Yesterday you were leavin' Leavin' life and all your pain
Everything wants you back again
Wants you back again
Wants you back again

I found myself through you
And there was love in my life
I felt always naturally high
And my love had a home
But now my mind has started to roam
You're my life giving fire
And you carry all my love
Through you I was so inspired
You're engraved deep in my heart
Heart, heart, heart

My dreams recall us being one
I've searched for you to be free
The force of life you have always been
I feel blue since you're gone
You're breath of life surrounded me
When can I join you to be free
Join you to be free Join you to be free

Wait, can this be a dream
There is a voice in my head
It belongs to you, it says
Don't cry, no need to be sad
There's a way to stay with you again
It's more than you ever had
And no death brings us apart
Our timeless love always grows
Because you are my other part

I know we've never been apart
Your love sets fire to my heart
We'll burn the sky
When it's time for me to die
We'll burn the sky, oh yeah
We'll burn the sky, oh yeah
When it's time, time, time
We'll burn the sky
We'll burn the sky, oh yeah
" There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings."

Cecilia Lasbury
" Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives."

Author unknown
" Every breath she ever breathed, every effort she ever made, every prayer she ever prayed was for her son..."

Reverend Robert Perella
" The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye."

Author unknown
Dreams

Is it possible, tell me, to hold onto dreams
When they've crumbled to ashes, and nothing it seems..
Remains but the memories of happier days
When tomorrow held promise in infinite ways.
Can you hold onto hope after losing a child?
When nothing makes sense, and nothing's worthwhile?
When the days and the nights all roll into one,
and though moving's an effort, it's easy to run...
But no matter how fast there appears no escape
From the pain and heartache that follow and shape
the efforts we make to hold onto our dreams..
That have crumbled to ashes, that are haunted, it seems
By our constant companions of guilt and despair;
horror and grief tag along everywhere.

Where are our answers, where does pain end?
I search and I suffer - I ask you again..
Can you hold onto hope after losing a child?
When nothing makes
sense,
and
nothing's
worthwhile?

Sally Migliaccio

Tiny Angel

Tranquil in your mother's embrace
Her silent tears upon your face
Heartbroken, your father silently weeps
As you, his precious little boy sleeps

For a fleeting moment each of us held you
And whispered a prayer to help us through
From your eternal sleep you never stirred
Not a sound from you was ever heard

You remained both silent and still
For this little Aidan, was God's will
You became a tiny angel before your birth
Chosen to leave all of us here on earth

We will not get to see you laugh and play
Or get to hug and kiss you every day
We will think of you with each passing day
Loving you in every single way

Our hearts are heavy with grief
Because you moment here was too brief
Today we may shed our tears and grieve
But tomorrow we will need to set you free

For God has given you wings to fly
And a home in his sun-kissed sky
Someday all of our spirits will once again lift
For waiting in heaven is a precious gift

Aidan, a tiny angel chosen before his birth
Watching over all of us here on earth

Written by: Gwendolyn Milstein May 2004
Whispering Angels

A flock of angels have touched our lives,
their shadows are cast on the day.
Some whisper softly, some touch us gently,
Others show others the way.
Oh angels, we cry when we are alone,
Tired from our quest to understand.
Why you only whisper softly,
only touch us gently,
and leave footprints in the sand.
But we are not alone in grief, are we?
We must look to the sky when it is fair,
To hear angels whisper softly, touch us gently,
and search to find strength in faith, we must share.
And tomorrow will come, as sure as there's love,
so wake to the gift of the day.
Knowing angels whisper softly,
knowing angels touch us gently,
And believe they can show us, too, the way.

Anonymous

Remember me when flowers bloom
Early in the spring
Remember me on sunny days
In the fun that summer brings
Remember me in the fall
As you walk through leaves of gold
And remember me in the wintertime
In the stories that are told
But most of all remember
Each day- right from the start
I will be forever near
For I live within your heart

J. Morse

Our Baby

An empty space where life once stirred
My eyes were not yet seeing
Where once my heartbeat shared one tone
with a small and fragile being
So scarcely formed yet still a life A dream,
a hope a promise.
Our plans were changed to now include
This new life thrust upon us.
Then just as quickly as it came
Our dreams were gone away.
The deepest pain I've ever felt
Our baby died today.
With footprints left upon our hearts,
She gently took her leave.
We've left with nothing to regret,
And only time to grieve.
There was no service to be held,
No mourning time required.
No songs of longing and despair,
No words to be inspired.
We're simply told to bare the pain,
"It's Nature's Way" they say
But I can not forget
our baby moved inside me yesterday.
And with each word of sorrow,
My teardrops fall like rain.
The anger and resentment
are mixed with guilt and pain.
I look to Heaven for a sign,
To help search out a course
Where love can teach acceptance,
and eliminate remorse
My body will accept the truth,
That now our baby's gone
But in our hearts our angel
Everlastingly lives on!

Teri Stuckmann
copyright of 1995

" What we have deeply loved we can never lose, for all we love deeply becomes a part of us."

Author unknown
" With Hope "

Steven Curtis Chapman

This is not at all
How we thought it was suppose to be
We had so many plans for you
We has so many dreams

But now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can Take away the pain
The pain of losing you

And we will cry with hope
We can say good-bye with hope
'Cause we know our good-bye is not the end
And we will grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan

But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father smile and say ' well done.'
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now your home
And now your free

And we will cry with hope
We can say good-bye with hope
'Cause we know our good-bye is not the end
And we will grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promises us is true

And we will cry with hope
We can say good-bye with hope
'Cause we know our good-bye is not the end
And we will grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope
" Life is hard, at times as hard as crucible steel. It has its bleak and difficult moments. Like the ever-flowing waters of the river, life has it moments of drought and its moments of flood. Like the ever-changing cycle of the seasons, life has the soothing warmth of its summers and the piercing chill of its winters. And if one will hold on, he will discover that God walks with him, and God is able to lift you from the fatigue of despair to the buoyancy of hope, and transform dark and desolate valleys into sunlit paths of inner peace."

Martin Luther King Jr.

" When someone dies, you don't get over it by forgetting; you get over it by remembering, and you are aware that no person is ever truly lost or gone once they have been in our life and loved us, as we have loved them."

Leslie Marmon Silko

" When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain & touch our wounds with a gentle & tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in an hour of grief & bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing & face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares."

Henri J.M. Nouwen
" The most precious moments in friendship were not when I laughed with a friend, though those times are so good, but when I cried with a friend and she reached out and listened and understood."

Fran Morgan
" Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys."

Alphonse de Lamartine
" Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal."


Author Unknown
Jack's Message

Our time together was short, but our touch enduring.
The love you gave me was sufficient for a lifetime,
Such was our bond.
Your special gift to me, Mom and Dad, was my birth.
My special gift to you was the strengthening of your love for each other.
The tears you now cry are meant to flow.
I am still yours.
When you feel alone, remember I am with you.
When you feel sad, remember me and be joyful.
When you feel despair
Look for my rainbow, and I will be there
I am yours, your little one.

Mrs. F.J. Pospisil
Grieving Silently

Why must I grieve silently,
When my heart is so loudly screaming
The emptiness I feel is consuming me,
Oh God, how I wish I were dreaming.

The silence around me is deafening
for nobody knows what to say
to comfort this agony I'm feeling
Since my daughter went away.

Each day the sun continues to rise
and the earth is still turning though my world
has come to a screeching halt
no one can ease my yearning.

For a part of me has vanished
and a part of my heart has died
and no one can hear my heartache
or feel the turmoil I carry inside.

And I'll go on grieving silently
and exist on a different plane
and I'll keep my love for her deep in my heart
until we see each other again.

Sandi DeMars

I do not need to stay busy,
I need to talk about my child.
I need to talk about the good times, and the bad.
I need to remember, and not to forget. I can not forget.
I need to cry, I do not need to stay strong.
I need to have you listen, and not to change the subject.
I need you to support me, not to say that you understand..
I know you can not understand, unless you have lost a child.
I need you to help me with things in life that are simple tasks.
Cleaning, cooking, errands, babysitting..
I just need you to be there for me.
I just need to talk about my child.

Author Unknown
' Unspoken '

Dear Friend:
Please put it behind you,
let go for a while.
You're too lost in mourning.
Lighten up, try to smile.
I know it's a tragedy.
I know how you feel,
but you must get through it,
move on so you heal.
I just can't stand
to see you in pain
I know if you try,
You'll be happy again.

Dear Friend:
The person you still
want me to be
is gone, locked away
and I don't have the key.
I'm really not choosing
to be like this
but my life is pure feeling,
clenching me like a fist.
There's a bleak somber moat
between me and the world,
the drawbridge so heavy,
splintered edges so cruel.
When I venture out strongly
the pain wraps me still,
colours my actions,
saps at my will.
So please don't give up
though I'm hopeless and lost.
Our friendship's true value
reflects in its costs.

Genesse Bourdeau Gentry
Waiting To Die

Once I yearned to live,
Now I'm waiting to die,
I had spent my life enjoying things,
Now life is passing me by
You see an angel came into my life,
My future was happy and bright,
Never did I imagine,
That soon I would lose that light.
She just left me two months ago,
To be with our father above,
I've cried so many tears for her,
My heart is so filled with her love.
Once I yearned to live,
Now I'm waiting to die,
Just waiting to be with my little one,
Up in the heavenly sky.

Gina Ramsey

You've left your footprints on our hearts
For this time while we're apart
And until we meet again one day
In our hearts you will always stay
The nights are hard as we think of you
And each day that dawns with morning dew
With every thought old and new
Wishes, dreams and memories too


Author Unknown

What is Normal?

Normal for me is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for
Christmas, birthday, Valentine's day, and Easter.

Normal is discussing with a friend in the Netherlands how different
funeral customs are there than here. Discussing how much both our
children loved the things they loved and how those things are now
sitting lonely collecting dust.

Normal is talking to a co-worker and the conversation going toward how
you felt after your child died.

Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat
buddies who have also lost a child.

Normal is feeling like you know how to act and are more comfortable with
a funeral than a wedding or a birthday party. Yet, feeling a stab of
pain in your heart when you smell the flowers, see that casket, and all
the crying people.

Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up
and screaming cause you just don't like to sit through church anymore.

Normal is going to bed feeling like your kids who are alive got cheated
out of happy cheerful parents and instead they are stuck with sober,
cautious people.

Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize
someone important is missing from all the important events in your
families' life.

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's and why
didn't I's go through your head constantly.

Normal is having the TV on the minute I walk into the house to have
noise because the silence is deafening.

Normal is staring at every little girl or boy who looks about my angels
age. And then thinking of the age my angel would be now and not being
able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine
it because it will never happen.

Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with
sadness lurking close behind because of the hole in my heart.

Normal is seeing my son at the cemetery visiting his sisters grave and
thinking, how could this be normal? He shouldn't have to be going
through this.

Normal is singing a song and feeling really great about doing well,
followed by an immediate down after thinking how my child would have
said, "That was beautiful Momma" (whether it really was or not).

Normal is telling the story of my childs death as if it were an everyday
common place activity and then gasping in horror at how awful it sounds.
And yet realizing it has become part of our normal.

Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor
your child's memory and their birthday and survive those days. And
trying to find the balloon or flag that fits the occasion. Happy
Birthday? Not really.

Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of a penguin.
Thinking how they would love it, but how they're here to enjoy it.

Normal is disliking jokes about death, funerals. Bodies being referred
to as cadavers when you know they were once someone's loved one.

Normal is being impatient with everything but someone stricken with
grief over the loss of their child.

Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother and meeting for
coffee and talking and crying together over our children and our new
lives. And worrying together over our living children.

Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned house
or did laundry or if there is any food in the house.

Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have two or
three children because you will never see this person again and it is not
worth explaining that one of them is in heaven. And yet when you say
only two to avoid that problem you feel horrible as if you have betrayed
that child.

Normal is feeling terribly hurt when you see your child's power point
presentation at parent/teacher's conference and that child has listed no
sister. Then you realize the way the information is set up there really
is no logical place to list the sister who has died and went to heaven.
And how awkward that must of been for him to think about the problem.

Normal is avoiding McDonald's and Burger King playgrounds because of
small happy children that break your heart when you see them.

Normal is wondering angrily a month later why your husband isn't still
crying, while he wonders angrily why you haven't stopped.

Normal is planning alternate routes through stores so you don't have to be
confronted with the "dreaded aisles," while nevertheless dodging strollers no
matter which way you go.

Normal is not knowing whether or not you can accept an invitation to your
cousin's wedding next month because you don't know if you will be having one of
your breakdowns that day.

Normal is being afraid to surf the internet, watch TV, read a book or listen
to the radio because of the world conspiring to salt your wounds by
saying/showing the wrong things.

Normal is wanting another baby in your arms so badly you can taste it, but
feeling so disloyal and being so, so afraid.

Normal is having an angel pin specifically designed for your child...not as a
gift, but as a memorial.

Normal is sometimes forgetting that our own parents' hearts are broken
twice...once for their lost grandchild, and again for their child who is lost in
a sense just as final.

Normal is sitting outside at night, staring into the sky, wondering why you
aren't one of the people blessed enough to see a sign or experience a miracle
that you know is being sent just to comfort you.

Normal is sometimes not being able to bear looking at photo albums, and other
times being so grateful they're covered in plastic so your endless flow of
tears won't ruin the pictures...

Author Unknown

Oh my baby, my baby

You were Still in my womb
though I begged you to move
to give me a sign,
let me know you were ok.
You were Still when they listened
and took my hope away.
You were Still in the ultrasound,
beautiful, perfect, and Still.
You were Still at your birth,
not a cry, not a breath.
You were Still when I held you,
Oh, how Still in your death!
You were Still in your bed,
my tired eyes thought they saw you move,
but you were Still when I willed you to wake up
to look at me!
You were Still in your casket,
cold and Still for all to see.
Your body is Still in your grave,
but your soul is in Jesus' arms
You are Still in my heart,
Now my heart feels God's love,
and is Still.

Poem By Christina Fuller


This Road

by

Ginny Ownen


A million miles away from anything familiar
a thousand places I would rather be
so I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering
in my heart I know your plan is so much bigger
but this small part is all that I can see
and I believe you haven't left me here to wander
still I can't help but ponder where you're leading me

(chorus)
and I ask why this road
why this way
and this load
tell me how far must I go
till I see
till I know
why this road...

A million miles away from anything familiar
what was it like to be so far from home
though you came in love
the world misunderstood you
there must have been some days when you felt so alone
but you endured, cause there was joy before you
joy that came because you sacrificed
Since you gave yourself just to spend forever with me
surely I can trust you'll lead me through my darkest times
when I ask why....

why this road
why this way
and this load
tell me how far must I go
till I see
till I know
why this road...

From here I can not see
why you'd choose this path for me
but I don't have to understand to believe
that you know why
You know why this road
why this way
and this load
you know how far I must go
till I see
till I know
why... this road

Remember Me

Remember Me as you sit and weep
As you close your eyes and go to sleep
Remember the good times and the bad
For they made the life that we once had
Go beyond the suffering and the pain
And in time you'll learn to live again
You'll remember me with joy in your heart
It's only life's path that keeps us apart
Remember Me on the other shore
Where I've found peace forevermore
Hold my memories in the passing days
And Remember Me
Today Tomorrow Always

Author Unknown
I'm an angel now

One night I cried to Jesus,
as I sat beneath a tree.
I looked into the open sky,
and hoped He'd answer me
"I'm lost dear Lord, I've travelled far
but still I seem to roam,
Please light the way and lead me, Lord
I need to get back home"

I told Him of my burdens,
and of the sadness in my heart.
That from His gracious love,
I'd never felt so apart.
"Why did you take my child, Lord?
I cannot understand!
No longer can I touch her face,
or hold her little hand.
I'm angry Lord, I'm missing her,
I'm drowning in my sorrow,
Please help to heal my yesterday,
and face each new tomorrow."

It was then I heard his gentle voice,
and felt her presence near.
How I wanted so to hold her,
as I cried another tear.
She said "Mom, I'm and angel now,
my spirit will be free,
I'm an angel now in Heaven,
so please don't cry for me"


Author Unknown
WITHIN THE HEARTS AND SOULS OF CHILDREN

How do we count the lives they touched
The light they shed for years?
How do we see the difference they made
When looking through our tears?
How do we know the things that are
That never would have been
Without their valiant hearts that dared
To fight, and fight again?
How do we know what flowers will bloom
From seeds of yesterday,
What songs are sung and dreams begun
Because they passed this way?
How do we measure the shining place
That time can never pale
In all the hearts that cheered them on
And willed them to prevail?
How did their spirit soar beyond
The suffering and the scars
To live with one hand clutching hope
And the other on the stars?

We may not know what they left behind
But we know this much
Their lives brief touch
Was from the hand of God


Author Unknown

The Rose Beyond the Wall

A rose once grew where all could see,
sheltered beside a garden wall,
and as the days passed swiftly by,
it spread its branches, straight and tall...
One day, a beam of light shone through
a crevice that had opened wide -
the rose bent gently toward its warmth
then passed beyond to the other side...
Now, you who deeply feel it's loss,
be comforted - the rose blooms there -
it's beauty even greater now,
nurtured by God's own loving care.


Author Unknown
"I have learned that some pain cannot be healed., but must be endured. I believe
our Higher Power will help us to endure and find peace. I loved the boy with the
utmost love of which my soul is capable and he is taken from me-yet in the
agony of my spirit in surrendering such a treasure, I feel a thousand times
richer than if I had never possessed it."


William Wadsworth 1812
Common Bond

We have a common bond
A silver lining that binds each heart
It unites us in the end and
teaches a brand new start

We've each experienced heartbreak
Like a rushing river's flow
We've felt such tears of sorrow
And we become afraid to just let go

Overwhelmed by such grief
That reveal great aches in our soul
Wondering why love hurts so much
As we loose our sense of whole

Our sunny days become cloudy
Our nights bring on a chill
We pray for a bright tomorrow
As we try to just get over that hill

We try to stay busy
Busy enough to forget our pain
And put that simile upon our face
And wonder if we're insane

We understand each other
Without ever saying a word
And with one small touch
We know that we were heard

I'm grateful you have a loving family
In whom you can rely
I'm happy you have someone
To hold you when you cry

I'm grateful to the Lord
That in His love we can depend
And I pray for each of you daily
That your hearts will truly mend

Although our lives have changed
And the pain will some what subside
I'm truly greateful for this group
With hugs and support to be your guide

This thread that binds our hearts
A bond that will not fray
I thank you all for sharing
In your special way

My words so small I give as a gift
To this group so proud and strong
But remember when all is said and done
God bless you all life long.

Copyright © 2002 by Michele. All rights reserved.

Beautiful memories
Silently kept
of a baby we loved
And will never forget
We really appreciate you visiting Thomas's website.
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February 23rd 2003 'Baby D' - Miscarraige 10 weeks pregnant

Thomas - January 1st 2004 8:31am - Born Still (31 1/4 wks)

"Fly, fly little wing - Fly beyond imagining"

Pregnant Again: Due - 4th November 2004....
'Please let us take this one home with us'

Miscarriage - Lost twin - 31st March 2004 at 9 weeks

~ Milly Ingrid Dixon ~

Born on the 16th November 2004, 3:43am - 8lbs 12ozs

A beautiful baby sister for Thomas!

~ Robert George Dixon ~

Born on the 18th March 2008 - 7lbs 15ozs